One client I worked with completed the FIRO-B instrument, and she clearly described herself as someone who did not like to influence others, or have others influence her. Mary valued doing her own thing and prided herself on her self-sufficiency. She also studiously avoided controlling the events and people she interacted with. Looking at her FIRO-B results, Mary said they fit her perfectly. However, all that provided was an assurance that the assessment was an accurate indicator of her behavior. The true value for Mary was examining how this independent pattern of behavior influenced her life, and that is where her epiphany lay. She was struck by the impact her pattern of behavior had on her work with others. By avoiding exercising any control or influence Mary noticed that she rarely argued or pushed for her own ideas. Instead she would leave meetings frustrated that she did not make an effort to get her point across. By resisting control from others, she came across as very independent and resistant to the plans and goals of others. She recognized that at times this resulted in people seeing her as difficult. While Mary recognized the advantages of being extremely independent and self-sufficient, she could see how it was having some negative affects on her career.So Mary had a challenge ahead of her. Recognizing her preferred independence and hesitancy to influence others and events, Mary decided that to become “better” she needed to open herself to the influence of other people, and “push” for things she thought were important. She set two goals for herself. The first was to exert some influence in situations that she felt strongly about. The second was to bend to the influence of others in situations that were not very important to her. These goals were designed to help her stretch herself and adjust her behavior in ways that were only slightly uncomfortable.Mary is like any client. The challenge is getting clients to move beyond reading their reports. While we all recognize that we can’t be everything for everyone, we certainly can make adjustments and learn new things that positively impact our interpersonal interactions and work activities.Below are some questions I have found useful to get people to dig deeper into their assessment results.
How do your patterns of behavior impact your life in a positive/negative way?
What strengths do you see that you could capitalize on?
What weaknesses do you see?
What areas would you like to be more effective in?
What skills would you like to develop?
You can follow up these general lines of inquiry with more specific questions related to the client’s area of focus. These might include:
What would make you a better leader?
How could you become a better communicator?
When resolving conflict how could you approach it differently?
So while the starting point is verifying how well the assessment identifies a client’s preferences and behavioral patterns that is not where the usefulness lies. The true power is found in doing something based on the results.