Using the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode
Instrument for Conflict Resolution

by Shawn Bakker

Conflict can occur in any situation where one person’s concerns are different from another person’s. As a result, conflict includes both heated arguments and simple differences of opinion. Conflict is not necessarily a bad thing in the workplace; in fact, conflict can often lead to increased effectiveness. However,
what can be ineffective is our way of dealing with conflict.

Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann have defined five different modes of dealing with conflict and identified the situations in which each mode is most effective. Most people have one or two conflict modes that come naturally to them and are easy to use. For certain types of conflicts, their natural approach may not be the most appropriate. The five conflict handling modes are listed below along with the types of conflict for which they are most effective.

Competing – “My way or the highway”
The competing mode is characterized by high assertiveness and low cooperativeness, where the goal is to win. Some appropriate uses for the competing mode are taking quick action, making unpopular decisions, and discussing issues of critical importance when you know for certain that your position is correct.

Collaborating – “Two heads are better than one”
The collaborating mode is characterized by high assertiveness and high cooperativeness, where the goal is to work with other people to find a win-win solution. Some appropriate uses for the collaborating mode are integrating solutions, learning, merging perspectives, gaining commitment, and improving relationships.

Compromising – “Let’s make a deal”
The compromising mode is characterized by moderate assertiveness and moderate cooperativeness, and involves negotiating or splitting the difference in opinion. The goal is to find the middle ground. Some appropriate uses for the compromising mode include issues of moderate importance, developing temporary solutions, or when you are under time constraints.

Avoiding – “I’ll think about it tomorrow”
The avoiding mode is characterized by low assertiveness and low cooperativeness, and means that neither parties concerns are satisfied. The goal is to delay. Appropriate uses of the avoiding mode include dealing with issues of little importance, reducing tensions, and buying time.

Accommodating – “It would be my pleasure”
The accommodating mode is characterized by low assertiveness and high cooperativeness, and can be acts of selfless generosity or obeying orders. The goal is to yield. The accommodating mode is useful for showing reasonableness, developing performance, creating good will, and dealing with issues of low importance.

As mentioned earlier, each of these five modes of handling conflict have strengths and weaknesses, making them more or less appropriate depending on the situation. One of the most important steps in being able to recognize and apply the most effective conflict mode is to be aware of what comes most naturally for yourself. The Thomas- Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument can help people come to that understanding.