How to Resolve Conflict - part II

Written by Shawn Bakker

Last month we looked at some common conflicts between people with differing E-I and S-N preferences. This month we will look at a couple of the type conflicts between Thinking-Feeling, and Judging-Perceiving.

Thinking-Feeling

Two frequent conflicts related to this dichotomy are (1) searching for the “right” answer versus exploration of people’s ideas and (2) choosing the logical alternative and applying it to everyone versus finding individual solutions that work for people. Thinking types tend to believe that if a problem is accurately defined, there will be a correct solution, and that’s what people should do. Feeling types are more likely to think that “truth” is not cut and dried: What’s right for one may be wrong for another. As a result, Thinking types may experience the decision making process of Feeling types as inconsistent. Feeling types may experience the decision making of Thinking types as cold and uncaring.

Judging-Perceiving

Two of the common conflicts related to this dichotomy are (1) the need for structure versus the need for flexibility and (2) the desire for closure versus the desire for openness. Judging types want clear goals. This allows them to create plans, structures and time frames to achieve them. They want decisions and closure. Ambiguity, delayed decisions, reopening decisions, and changing goals are extremely uncomfortable to them. Perceiving types also want clear goals and a deadline, but they want to be trusted to meet them in their own ways. They want decisions to grow out of the process, and they have faith in their internal sense of timing and trust that when the right time comes, they will know. Judging types often have trouble trusting that Perceiving types will come through in a timely way, that decisions will be made and action will be taken. Perceiving types often feel hemmed in, limited, and restricted by Judging types.

Read part I >